Let’s see: Today, I went to Macy’s and bought two pairs of 3-inch heeled ankle boots—and you know how I feel about high-heeled shoes. Then I went to Victoria’s Secret and spent $178 on bras. I had a coupon: $5 off a Body By Victoria, as well as a pair of free BBV panties—I could have walked out of there having spent less than $35 and still taken full advantage of the offer. I called my mother and she told me that she likes the new song by Sting.

I feel like I’ve spent the day in a parallel universe.