The Republicans Are Coming.

The Republican National Convention hasn’t even started yet and already… NoParkingNoStandingNoStopping all the way up Ninth Avenue past my house. NoParkingNoStandingNoStopping in front of Churrascaria Plataforma. No stopping in front of a restaurant? WTF? And where, pray tell, did they put all the cars that had been parked on Ninth Avenue? They belong to the people who live and work in the neighborhood. The Republicans Are Coming, and suddenly my lovely neighbors can’t park their cars in front of their own residences.

The Republican National Convention hasn’t even started yet and already… they are afraid of the Anarchists. Well, okay, I understand that one. The mere concept of Anarchy must make a Republican squirm; and squirming must be excruciating when you’ve got a ramrod up your arse. But they’re also afraid of the Critical Mass, who as far as I ever knew were fanatical bicyclists, lobbying for more, safer bike lanes throughout the city. Who knew they could be as scary as The Terrorists? And who else? Planned Parenthood? Another despicable horde of asocial, rioting marauders. Thank god The Republicans Are Coming, and have asked the City to keep the riff-raff out of Central Park, who knows what damage they could cause.

Why did they bother? All they really wanted was the backdrop, the movie set, the Vegas Spectacular. They want to convene in our Garden, but they don’t want our politics or our lifestyle or our values or our restaurants or even our theatre (apparently the show, Naked Boys Singing was dropped from the list of recommended Republican viewing).

The Republicans Are Coming. Oy.