The Dalai Mama Strikes Again: "I'm afraid I'm going to fall back into my old bad habit of watching QVC 24/7 and blowing my paycheck on cheezy gold and imitation diamond jewelry." Wait. I wasn't that bad. I think I said, "Hi, Mommie, it's Cynthia," first (to which she replied: "I know.")

You see, I'm already sick to f**king death of the Story of the Arrest of Michael Jackson (which arrest had not yet taken place as I wrote this). I first got into QVC during the OJ trial, and it lasted through the Clinton Scandal. What TV stations don't interrupt your catatonia with breaking news? Or give you a splitting headache with that god-awful newscrawl? QVC. And maybe the Cartoon Network.

"Why don't you turn off the TV? Put on some music." So spake the Dalai Mama. Obediently, I turned off the TV and riffled through my top-of-the-shelf CD's. Aha! David Bowie!

As I listen to Mommie detail her day's laundry strategy, I notice that the jewel case is still shrink-wrapped. "Uh-oh, I have to go find my CD slicer ... I'm sorry, Mommie, I was talking to myself." To which she replied: "I know."

Did she also know what a good album it was? Reality, by David Bowie? Maybe. Dalai Mama digs Sting, why not Bowie?